The Ultimate Conspiracy Theory

The Ultimate Conspiracy Theory

Many of my friends know that I’m a fan of good conspiracy theories. I have pondered and wondered why King George and Darth have had so much power and I have now come up with the best of the lot. Based on the recent developments in the United States Congress and the appointment of Judge “machine-gun” Alito to the highest court in the nation, it is becoming quite clear to me. Let us not forget that this is the man who argued in favor of having a ten-year-old girl strip searched, denied a woman her day in court because she thought (God forbid she would have the audacity to think) that she was being discriminated against and, my favorite, claiming dissent in U.S. v. Rybar, 103 F.3d 273 (3d Cir. 1996), focusing on the commerce clause (the machine gun issue).

The facts as I see them:
1) The Republicans seem to be unafraid of the Democrats taking over the two houses of Congress.
2) The Democrats who are up for re-election don’t seem to care about their constituency (the progressives who voted for them) or that they could possibly lose their next election.
3) The conservative Republicans seem very willing to abdicate their duties and responsibilities in order to give the President unlimited powers, which he will do with the help of this very regressive judiciary.
4) The voice of the people with regards to the recent “Filibuster for a Congressional Filibuster” (www1.theyoungturks.com/xoops/) hosted by the Young Turks, and with a lot of help from the likes of Thom Hartmann, Peter B. Collins, Mike Malloy, Bob Kincaid (www.headonradio.com), Brad Friedman, Sam Seder, Jake Koskoff, John Pike, John Amato (crooksandliars.com), Shelby (Radiopower.org), Ben Burch (WhiteRoseSociety.org), and Michael Shure, went unheeded by the senators voting on Alito’s appointment.
5) The private contractor hired to provide Alaska's electronic voting machines is Diebold Election Systems. It has told Alaska officials it owns the "structure of the database" though the data itself is public. (http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/story/7386582p-7298824c.html)

It was reported that the Federalist Society planned weeks ago for a really big party to celebrate Judge Alito’s appointment for Monday, 30 January. I thought that was a curious thing for them to do, weeks ahead of the appointment. So I went looking for the Federalist Society on the net (Wikipedia, www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federalist_Society; People for the American Way, www.pfaw.org/pfaw/general/default.aspx?oid=3149, the Washington Post, www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/07/24/AR2005072401201.html).

Well, it’s becoming patently clear to me what is going on:
1) The Republicans feel that, with the help of Diebold, they can retain majority in both houses.
2) The Democrats up for re-election have made a deal with the Republicans. Not for anything as crass as money. Instead, a promise that the Republicans will not foist upon the election a strong enough Republican who might actually take the seat away from the Democrats (look at the nonsense going on in the Clinton race in New York).
3) The conservative Republicans fall into the same category of the Democrats up for re-election, thereby securing their return to Congress and eventual retirement funds.
4) The Democrats who were approached to vote “No” on cloture led the people to believe that they would vote one way and then voted the other because of the above item 2.
5) Diebold is owned by a friend of George Bush and was instrumental in defeating Paul Hackett in Ohio. (www.onlinejournal.com/artman/publish/article_267.shtml)

Now, while it is true that a truly good conspiracy can never actually be proved, I’ve begun to connect the dots. I fear that we’re lost to the American Taliban, hosted by your friendly neighborhood Nazi in the Federalist Society. The only thing we can actually hope for is for God, in his infinite wisdom, to intelligently design the demise of those in power today who hate America, our Constitution and all that it has stood for since 1776 and its subsequent amendments.

And just think, folks, it all started with Prescott Bush.